Hearing? ............ Pardon?

Still got that good old 32 inch waist, even though chest and stomach seemed to have joined up somewhere along the way. Legs are fine, just that my feet seem to have fallen out with each other and don't always want to go in the same direction.

Memory is OK, uh, well, reasonably OK. As long as you don't ask me about what happened last week, 50 years ago, yes, but definitely not last week, or other peoples birth dates.

If any of the above sounds familiar then that's good. I would hate to think that I was the only one marching down this particular road. Some days I wake up and go into complete denial about being a senior, don't you just hate that word? This usually only lasts until I get to the bathroom and look in the mirror to start shaving. I have seen turkeys with fewer neck wrinkles. Tried shaving once without the mirror, I won't bore you with the medical details of what happened.

I suppose school must have been good because they say that they are the best days of your life, the trouble is I can't remember them. That's strange really because I can remember most of my childhood as glorious years.

Years of sunshine, with adventure and discovery around every corner. A world of make believe, fairies actually existed. Father Christmas came every year and the snow was deep and crisp and even. Cowboys and Indians, cops and baddies.

The local bobby, copper Jackson in our case, whose word was law and definitely not a man to be trifled with. The exciting new worlds that being able to read at an early age opened up. Oh my, how the memories flood back.

My aware and loving parents had a lot to do with this. A mother who was the source of all comfort and a father who was the fount of all wisdom. No matter the problem, one or the other would always make things right. Golden years indeed.

Left school early to get into the workplace. Not a great success so left home to try further afield. That was better, much better. I may have tales to tell about all this later on.

Back home and the workplace again. No improvement on the first time. So, more drastic measures were called for, hence the grown up world of the armed forces. Now there's a place where you come face to face with reality and a spade is very definitely a spade.

Gave quite a few years to Queen and country in various parts of the globe. That was very interesting, met some great people. Not the Queen though.

A marriage, two children and a sizable chunk of my life later, it was back to civilian life as I became part of darling Harold Wilson's armed forces cutbacks. No regrets though as I felt ready for a change at this point in my life.

Worked in various jobs, some days, like the jobs, were good, some not so good. The best day of all was the day I finished paid employment. Now that I will remember for the rest of my life.

There really ought to be a system where retirement comes first and then if you get fed up you could give some thought to starting work, not too much thought perhaps.

That's about it then, like I pointed out at the beginning, just another old guy.